Once upon a time two genetically related Pseudoscientists by the names of Janny Crypticlimpet and Maya Gonzomal decided to explore the so called “myth” of the KANGAROODLE (kang-a-roo-dle)
Maya, aged 10, said
“We have found evidence that this animal exists and is still breeding. Kangaroodles are mis-understood and should be respected like any other”
This article shows images of sightingsand tells a great story.
The Kangaroodle has muscular hind legs and tiny front paws, a heavy bushy tail, long floppy ears, a curly coat, great ball fetching and boxing skills, but it cannot walk or hop backwards on its hind legs.
It is very good at hand stands, cartwheels, salsa dancing and walking backwards on its front paws.
It can only use a computer keyboard with its left front paw as the nails on its right paw are too long and obviously need to be kept in this condition to enable it to scratch inside its long, fluffy ears when they get itchy. When content, it wags its tail with great enthusiasm.
Its diet is very strange. It loves raw lamb bones (which make it a serious threat to live sheep, who often huddle in a group in the corner of their paddock to protect their front and hind legs from being gnawed). It does occasionally vary its diet by scooping up slow green frogs and lazy eels from rivers with its poodle-like paws. The coastal variety are known to occasionally freshen their breath with seaweed, and sharpen their teeth on distant coral reefs, because, of course, they can do the doggy paddle extremely competently.
The Kangaroodle chases birds and cats, and barks loudly at any intruders entering its territory. It is generally found in the centre of The Middle Of Nowhere where it gives birth to its joppies, usually 12 in number, raised in its large floppy pouch all at the same time. As far as scientists have confirmed it jumps up onto your knee for cuddles when in a good mood and licks a lot.
It is assumed that the average Kangaroodle enjoys lounging on couches during the day and sneaking into bedrooms at night to sprawl out at the end of imaginative children’s beds. The children often wake up with hot feet. This is firm evidence that a Kangaroodle has been around. Unfortunately sometimes next morning their mothers find wiffy evidence on the bedding that the visiting Kangaroodle was not toilet trained.
The pooh of a Kangaroodle consists of sticky luminous triangular pellets excreted in a spiral formation. When very young the Kangaroodles are Vegemite coloured but when older, they turn the same shade as peanut butter. When VERY old they go the colour of apricot jam. Kangaroodles love to go for walks. Because of their abnormally good sense of smell, and their fine retrieving skills they are thought to have, on more than one occasion, returned naughty lost children to their unhappy parents. The parents in each case were quite distressed to have the particular children returned as they had taken them into the woods and deliberately left them (well, the wicked stepmothers had anyway). It is an exhausting job to bathe these returned children. The saliva of a Kangaroodle is very sticky. (Cleaning instructions are on page 18 of the website http://www.mythicalmixes.com.au/kangaroodle-poodleroo).
Little is known about the habitat of the kangaroodle, but the peanut butter colouring of the adult and the foul smell of their pooh suggests that the urban type might roost in compost heaps and muddy construction sights as well as beauty shops that specialize in acrylic nails. The wild ones prefer pig sheds, extinct volcano craters and bat caves.
ADDITIONAL FACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW
Because of their indestructible teeth, the lifespan of a kangaroodle is around 5000 years!
Research shows that they only give birth on full moons that occur on rainy Sundays.
The joppies are extremely cute, and easily trainable to assist blondes!!
Maya, aged 10, said
THE CRYPTIC LIMPET 